SO, I have been planning to.. feeling led to.. being pulled to do this for a long time and just have not done it. Here I am finally making it happen. I suppose I should start by giving a little background…

First, let me just say that I am not sure that anyone really cares what I have to talk about, but if what I share helps someone, that is the true purpose. One reason I waited so long is because there are people/situations that may come up in topics that will be uncomfortable. Either for me, them or others that know them. For that I will go ahead and apologize now, but I won’t sugar coat. I won’t change my statements to make someone feel better about the past. Including myself. I will say that I am a firm believer in the past being the past and I certainly don’t think any person has a right to condemn another. If I share something it is not in any way to condemn, I have my own skeletons and mistakes, it’s just to shed light on whatever story I might be sharing at the time. That is all.

Now, here we go….

I am generous. To a fault. I don’t say that as a pat on the back type of thing. I say it as a matter of fact, like having a certain color of eyes, or being tall or short, etc. It is just a fact. You would think it is a good thing, right? It is. MOST of the time. Until, you really start living with it in our world in the current state that it is in. When people wonder if you have ulterior motives. Isn’t that so incredibly sad? I mean really sad? I love people. I love life with such an incredible depth, that I find it very hard to even explain it where anyone could really understand. When I help someone or do something for them, it is not because I want them to accept me, or think of me a certain way, it is because I truly do not know how else to be. I truly don’t understand mean people. Don’t get me wrong, I can get mad and resentful and hurt and angry and be the meanest person at that moment, but all in all, I just don’t think on those terms.

Here is a little bit of why…

I know how it feels to hurt. I know how it feels to be abused. Physically, mentally, emotionally, to be picked on, beat up, torn down, misunderstood, homeless, penniless, unloved and unwanted. Why would I purposefully want that for someone else? One thing I have never felt… hopeless, I guess I just realized as a small child that I never had to be hopeless. It was my choice. My faith showed me from as early as I can remember, that there is always hope.

Ha, ya know, I am reading this amazing book right now. “The Go Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann. If you get a chance, check it out. Great little read. One thing he says that I just love…. “How did it feel serving all those people?” …”to tell you the truth, I felt like an idiot….. sometimes you feel foolish, even look foolish, but you do the thing anyway.”

See… You do the thing because someone needs you to. Sometimes you need it as much or more than someone else. Sometimes you don’t know, you just do it.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to care, keep caring, keep writing the words of your story on that blank page. It’s yours. Write it how you want to look back on it at the end. Forget what others might think about why you do what you do. At least you are doing it.

This world needs what you have to give. Hold your own pen and write. Just keep writing…….